sarahmichelef (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sarahmichelef) wrote2006-11-04 09:41 pm
sarahmichelef) wrote2006-11-04 09:41 pm
Entry tags:
FlyLady Reflections
I'm still going to do my big rant about the FlyLady system and the gendered division of labor, but not yet.
Or maybe I will, just a little bit.
Or maybe I will, just a little bit.
Admittedly I'm only a couple of days in, but the whole system seems to assume that the vast majority of housework is being done by one person. And that person, assumedly, is female. (In fact, there's a companion site to FlyLady called Hey Tom, which of course only reinforces this impression. I just skimmed some of the recent questions on Hey Tom and they're very much about "manly things"... plumbing, remodeling, cars, how the male mind works...).
I don't think that this is representative of the average household today. I sure as hell HOPE it isn't. In our house, I cook, M pays the bills, we both do laundry, we both do dishes, we both take out the trash and do child care and so on. Maybe we're MORE equitable in our division of labor than other families, but I hardly think that we're that unusual.
In addition to assuming that the bulk of the domestic labor is being done by one (female) person, it seems that that person is also assumed to be IN CHARGE. I can't just autocratically decide to throw away M's things when I'm decluttering. For example, much of what was on the mail stand was bill-related. M and I talked and quickly came up with a system (bills to be paid go in one pile, current (un-dealt-with) mail goes in another pile, current magazines and catalogs to on the bottom shelf). Nearly EVERYTHING in the pile by the fridge was stubs of paid bills. And since I'm not the one who deals with that stuff, all I can do is pass it off to M to put away. And goodness knows where it's going to end up now. For the moment it's got its own pile on the mail stand.
Anyway, the point is that many of the assumptions of the FlyLady system are highly gender-biased.
OK, rant over. Today I cleaned up two major hotspots: the mail stand and the pile on the counter by the fridge. Now we have to keep them from becoming hotspots again. And after dinner, we did a really good cleaning of the kitchen counters (the microwave was DISGUSTING), and agreed on a list of things that will be done to the kitchen as part of the after-dinner routine every evening.I don't think that this is representative of the average household today. I sure as hell HOPE it isn't. In our house, I cook, M pays the bills, we both do laundry, we both do dishes, we both take out the trash and do child care and so on. Maybe we're MORE equitable in our division of labor than other families, but I hardly think that we're that unusual.
In addition to assuming that the bulk of the domestic labor is being done by one (female) person, it seems that that person is also assumed to be IN CHARGE. I can't just autocratically decide to throw away M's things when I'm decluttering. For example, much of what was on the mail stand was bill-related. M and I talked and quickly came up with a system (bills to be paid go in one pile, current (un-dealt-with) mail goes in another pile, current magazines and catalogs to on the bottom shelf). Nearly EVERYTHING in the pile by the fridge was stubs of paid bills. And since I'm not the one who deals with that stuff, all I can do is pass it off to M to put away. And goodness knows where it's going to end up now. For the moment it's got its own pile on the mail stand.
Anyway, the point is that many of the assumptions of the FlyLady system are highly gender-biased.