Good on you!
I have an ironic and convoluted tangle in response, and sadly not enough time to detail it all out clearly. In sum, I am a feminist of course; our household and childrearing work is shared equally with me serving in a generally more directorial role because I am the directorial sort and samueljl finds my direction to be reasonable most of the time; but I actually think that lowering your expectations is good, sound advice. My goal is to have my act together enough to focus on our top priorities. As Dan Ho says (paraphrased), the only people who need to have their houses ready for guests at a moment's notice are people who run B&B's.